I am not a Robin fan either – Twins with Reflux

So here is my post about reflux.  At about 8 weeks my girls started to get more and more difficult to keep happy.  They would take longer and longer to settle to sleep.  Then they would cry a lot after feeds.  Then they would cry a lot during feeds.  In a week they had gone from fairly contented babies to babies who seemed to cry in pain at most feeds.  When I say cry I don’t mean a bit of “boo hoo, I’m hungry”  I’m talking “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I’m in a HUGE amount of pain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” high pitched squeal that got the attention of our neighbours and made me cry, stress and lose my sanity. 

I, of course, consulted a baby book that had a large section of baby crying – “Baby Love” by Robin Barker. 
From this book I got the general gist that:

• Babies cry and sometimes they cry for hours so just deal with it,
• colic is a myth and reflux is over diagnosed – your baby couldn’t possibly have either of these, and
• bothering your GP with “my baby is crying” makes you look stupid and wastes their time.\

Of course she didn’t actually say those things but that was the general impression I got in my crazed sleep deprived, thereissomethingwrongwithmybaby and I’mabadmother kind of state.

It frustrates me that no one told me about silent reflux.  It is very common with preemie babies and is really obvious when you know that crying during and after feeding is NOT normal. To cut a long story short it turned out that the girls needed hypoallergenic formula and reflux medication.  However, it took three weeks for us to work this out and get the dose right.  There is really nothing quite as soul destroying as babies crying in intense pain and feeling completely helpless.  Reflux pretty much pushed me close to depression.  If it wasn’t for my faith in God I believe I would’ve developed post natal depression.  I was so close so many times but my faith and my unbelievable husband, family and friends kept me from........ who knows what.

I believe the girls developed an aversion to milk and this is why they didn’t drink a full bottle of milk until they were 12 months old.  I also blame reflux for their poor sleep quality for several months.  It is also the reason why I had to stop breastfeeding and eventually, pumping.  Imagine trying to feed a screaming child that once latched on quickly pulls off (taking half your nipple with them!), arches her back and screams in even more pain.  My nipples were so badly damaged and I was so emotionally and physically drained that I gave up breastfeeding at 8 weeks and pumping at 11 weeks.

I will always feel guilty that the day they developed reflux was the day I missed a pumping session and they were given more formula than breast milk.  I know reflux can develop in breastfed babies but I wonder if I had enough milk for both would they have gone through all that pain?